Help! My Toddler Won't Sleep Through The Night...

Perhaps your toddler was sleeping through the night and suddenly they aren't, or perhaps your child has not learned to sleep through the night and you're at your wits end. Whatever brought you here, I hope the following information will be beneficial for you and your child.

**Please note, this information is based on experience only and is intended for advice. This is not intended for children with health issues. Always consult your child's pediatrician.**

Reasons why your child may not be sleeping:

• Teething
• Ear-infection
• Fear of the dark or being left alone
• Your child does not have an established bedtime or bedtime routine
• Your child sleeps with you
• Your child wants to play during the night
• Your child has recently transitioned to a new bed or bedroom
• Your child's schedule has been disrupted

If your child is sick or teething, it is not necessary to stress over why your child isn't sleeping. Once your child is better, they will resume to their normal schedule.

Fear of being alone or fear of the dark:

It is normal for your child to develop fears of the unknown as they learn more about their world, they are also developing an imagination. Your toddler will go through many different stages as they grow and learn. Unfortunately, not all of the stages are enjoyable for parents. If your child is expressing fear you will need to teach your child that it's alright to be in the dark or a dim room. A toddler flashlight is always fun or a security object like a toy or blanket. You may want to use a nightlight or a lamp that has a soft-low light. Leaving the door open may also help your child. Always reinforce to your child that you are in the house while they are sleeping and that you are always nearby if they need you.

If you decide to give your child a toddler flashlight, make this fun. Only allow your child to have their special light when they are in bed at night. This will make bedtime more enjoyable and they will focus on the toy not their fear.

Try going in darkened rooms with your child and make it fun. Bring a flashlight and explore the dark space together. The more fun you make a dark room, the less likely they will be to find it scary.

Your child's schedule has been disrupted

You may have had to alter your child's schedule due to work or travel for example. If this is the case, try to keep the bedtime routine as close to normal as possible. Give your child time to adapt to their new schedule. It is hard for adults to change routine and even harder for your small child.

Your child wants to play during the night

The entire house is winding down for a peaceful night, yet your toddler is in full-force. They want to play and sleep is the last thing on their agenda. We have all been there. If this is a frequent occurrence for your child, most likely they are getting too much sleep during the day. This may or may not be while they are in your care. If they are at a sitter or daycare, it will be essential to convey this issue to your child's care-giver. Nap-times should be shortened or more physical activity added. Is your toddler spending too many hours watching television and less time outside? Is your toddler taking lengthy naps or napping too late the afternoon? If this is the case, simply shortening naps, changing nap times or adding some outdoor time will fix this issue.

Your child has recently transitioned to a new bed or bedroom

Your toddler has outgrown their crib and is now in a regular bed or a toddler bed. This usually will cause temporary sleep disruptions. Perhaps you've moved your child from a nursery to a bedroom and their new surroundings have them more curious than calm.

Give your child time to make the adjustment. It is normal for them to be curious of their new surroundings. Allow your child time during daylight hours to explore their new room or bed. Lessen the curiosity so that when it's time for your child to sleep, they will already be familiar.

If you haven't introduced the new bed, it is a good idea to set the bed up in their bedroom while they are still in their old bed. Seeing their new bed and getting the opportunity to sit or lay on the bed frequently before the transition will diminish the novelty.

Once your child is in their bed expect them to get out of bed. This is a new freedom for your toddler. Gently reinforce that this is bedtime and they need to stay in bed. You will have to make frequent visits to their room during the first few nights to put them in bed. Soon your child will be staying in their new bed all by themselves.

Your child sleeps with you

When your child was born, you decided to co-sleep. Now that your toddler is bigger, co-sleeping is more challenging. Finding a little foot or hand in your face or back is not necessarily affording you a decent nights sleep. How to transition your child from your bed to their own will be challenging but not impossible.

Is your child's room used mainly for play? If so, remove all toys from your child's bedroom and find another room for play. If you must keep toys in the bedroom, make sure they are out of reach and out of sight. You want your child to know this room will be for sleeping only. Later, when they are used to going to bed and sleeping through the night, you can bring toys back to their room.

Move your child's bed to your room and let them get used to seeing and using their own bed. You don't have to make them sleep in their bed. Just allow them to be familiar with their bed. In the beginning, have your child nap in your bed alone. Let them know you are there for them, but you are not sleeping with them. Reinforce that mommies and daddies do not need naps. Your child will resist this and cry, but you know they are alright and just voicing their dislike for this new routine. Be very consistent. If your child gets up, put them back in bed.

Once your child is napping alone in your bed, transition them to their own bed that is in your bedroom. You may have to repeat the process of putting them back to bed if they get up. Stay firm with your child. Reinforce to your child how special their own bed is and how exciting it is to have a bed all their own. Make their own bed a big-deal. Your toddler will find it exciting to take ownership of something.

Once your child is napping in their own bed, transition them to nighttime in their own bed. If your child does not have a bedtime, it is important to make one for them and be firm with this time. Follow your normal bedtime routine and put them to bed in their own bed. Again, it may be necessary to repeat the prior steps. Keep emphasizing how great it is that they are big enough for their very own bed. Praise your child.

Your child is now sleeping in their own bed in your bedroom. Congratulations! The next step is far easier, now that your child is able to sleep by themselves. You will need to move your child's bed to their bedroom. I find that if you explain processes to your child, it makes everything so much easier. Make this exciting and a reward for being such a big boy or girl. Simple phrases like "You are such a big girl sleeping in your own bed." and then adding "You are such a big girl, you get to have your very own room!" Again, make this exciting and a reward. It is a reward after all. Everyone is entitled to their own space. Your child will learn to love their own private space.

Let your child help you move their bed. Talk about what is happening while you are taking the bed apart. Toddlers love activity and excitement. They will find this very enjoyable. Once the bed is reassembled in their own room, give them time to look around and lay on their bed. You may want to leave the room and allow your child time alone in their room without expectations of sleeping.

Before having your child sleep in their room, make sure they understand. You may need to take frequent visits to their room throughout the day and reinforce that this is where they sleep. Visit your bedroom and ask them "Who sleeps in mommy and daddy's room?" and so on. Keep doing this until your child has an understanding that this is their room and it is separate from your room. Play games like "Can you find your bed/your room?" and praise them when they run to their room and their bed.

Be prepared that your child may resist their new room. Leave the door open if necessary. Use a nightlight. Reinforce that this is their room and make your child remain in their room. Do not tolerate them running out of their room or getting out of bed. You will need to be consistent and reaffirm that bedtime is for sleeping. Offer praise when your child is in bed. Let your child know that this makes you happy to see them in their own bedroom.

Your child does not have an established bedtime or bedtime routine

You're a relaxed parent and never felt the need for a bedtime or perhaps your child has a bedtime but you find it difficult to transition from playtime to bedtime. It is very important for your child to have an established bedtime. Sleep is important and schedules are important. Our lives are scheduled and your child is no different. Your child needs structure and guidelines and expectations. A bedtime is a simple way to reinforce this.

If you are a parent that let your child play until they run out of steam and fall asleep where they may, establishing a bedtime is going to be difficult but you are doing your child and yourself a favor. The rule of thumb here is to be firm and consistent. Expect your child to resist this new structure in their lives. You will want to develop a routine to help them transition. You can expect your child to cry or throw tantrums, but be firm in your decision. You are the parent and you know you are doing this for the well-being of your child and the family. Mommies and daddies need downtime and your child needs a healthy sleep pattern.

As your child cries and resists, comfort them with soothing words and let them know it's alright. Reassure your child but stay firm that bedtime is bedtime, no if and or buts. Consistency and firmness are what your child needs. Be prepared for a week of struggle. Eventually, your little one will understand what bedtime is and what is expected.

To help transition your child to bedtime it is necessary to have a routine. This will be the unspoken cue that the daytime is winding down and bedtime is near. Develop a routine that works for your family and lifestyle. Many of my friends have various routines from watching a movie, having a snack, reading to skyping with grandparents. Whatever it is that fits your family style, work that in to your routine. The key is that what you decide for your routine, you must keep it low-key with little activity. Now is not the time for finger-painting or dancing. Make sure you pick a routine that you can do anywhere. For our family, our bedtime routine was bath, story and snack (the story and snack were simultaneous). You will find your little one looking forward to their nighttime routine and even asking when is bath time or if you can read your special bedtime story. Make sure they know that those are special things that you can only do before bed. This will keep them exciting, fun and an intimate time to share with mommy and daddy.